Looking in the Mirror

Today I am 29 and find myself staring in a looking glass in a castle that is foreign to me wondering what that 9 year old version of myself was thinking the next morning after the birthday party.
Am I what I thought I would be when I grew up?
Did I find myself somewhere beyond all that my father wanted me to be?
Am I glad I finally have a brother?

When I was 9 however, my only thought is am I a girl?
Remember, that this is Charles looking at himself in the mirror and seeing his father's daughter staring back at him.
I knew all the while, I had never been completely comfortable with being a prince. That morning I knew why as I looked in the mirror wondering what it was about my face that made me a girl and not a prince. 
Look, I know now that if any of the boys or Princes had said let's play "I'll show you mine- if you show me yours" - then it would have been over a long time before this. But let me point out no one had ever asked before the night Baldur tried to kiss me.
My father was very careful to avoid any situation that would bring the difference up. He even decreed that no one could go swimming without a shirt.
And since no one in the Kingdom thought it was all that weird, everyone one did without ever questioning what my father was up to.
Also, let me point out that nothing happened to my body for years even after I looked into the mirror that morning that would point to me being a girl.

Unlike Hildy and Izzy, I did not "blossom" until I was in my twenties, and even then it wasn't anywhere near what happened to the girls around me. For a while, I was positive, that my lack of femininity was a result of my father meddling with witches and wizards. When I was 19, my mother finally sat me down and told me that she hadn't grown breasts until she was in her twenties either.
"It just takes more time for us Stonehaven women, Charlie."
It didn't assuage my fears or suspicions and probably drove my father to distraction with all my accusing looks.
I still found myself looking in the mirror wondering if what I was. Boy or Girl. Prince or.....
Yeah, being a Princess never entered my vocabulary even after I finally grew some breasts.

The Problem with Fairy Tales Part 4

The problem with having this many princes is that there is only so much space in the ten kingdoms to have the adventures that their fathers- the kings want them to have. Bragging rights take over as the main tension in this group of men. Territorial skirmishes took on a whole new level. Picture small armies showing up to make sure Hal gets to slay the Beast of Kalikos before George.
Lucky for us, no one gets much more than a lot of insulting and the occasional bruising when things get out of hand. But even as a kid, myself and some of the princes could see that the rivalries were going to continue escalating until it did get violent.
The Beast of Kalikos, by the way, laughed himself sick over that skirmish and moved to Malta later.
Who could blame him/it? The writing was on the wall, so to speak. He/It would be getting little sleep once the two kings settled things.

The Conspiracy.
Once everyone had arrived in Stonehaven, I set about inviting the Princes, I believed to be the most reasonable to my chambers in order to hatch what i was calling operation "Forget about it." In which, it was my purpose to find ways to stump our father's ambitions of dominance through acts of Princely heroism in order to ensure a lasting peace both at home and abroad.
I invited:
1. Prince Baldur, because I liked him and we had a lot of fun playing tag during my sixth birthday while our father's argued over who of us would be allowed to take on Grendel first once we turned 19. His brother, Thorn is very scary and pale like a ghost, so I didn't ask him. (should have known better).
2. Prince Phillip, he's always been a reasonable well behaved boy.
3. Princes Cronk and Dipcus, mostly because I still had no idea that princes could be dumb twits. The lessons I have learned.
4. Prince Louie and Godfrey, their brother is a spoiled brat and they hate him. I figured this had to be a "slam-dunk" (Ralph insists this is the best metaphor of all time).
5. Prince Hal, because everyone likes Hal.
6. Prince Mark, because I could spell Herikles and Ippy just makes me feel embarrassed. Something I didn't understand until I was 16.

My father threw a big feast and everyone came. Prince Baldur kept looking at me and winking and I suddenly felt very uncomfortable with the attention. Then I was just confused because I caught him doing the same thing to Princess Helen and she is very pretty.
So after the Princes and Princesses had retired back to their rooms, I awaited to see who would come to my invitation.
I waited a while before Baldur came in and then tried to kiss me. I punched him in the nose and he burst into tears and called me a horse. He spit up some blood and ran out of the room.
What the hell was that about I wondered.
Anyway none of the Princes came. I sat on my bed and wondered why and then a knock came and when I opened it up I found Hildy. Mark and Izzy looking at me with these weird smiles.

I let them in and we sat around eating some pilfered bunch cake (think fruit cake without the rum) and goat's milk. We tried the ale I had smuggled in but none of us like it much.
I told Hildy about Baldur trying to kiss me.
She looked at me out the side of her eyes and then she glanced at Izzy and Mark and started to laugh.
I sat there perplexed.
"Tell me that you punched him." Hildy said after a moment.
"I popped him in the nose." I declared and then "He got mad and cried and called me a horse."
Izzy fell over in gales of Laughter while Mark looked sick and tried to apologize for Baldur.
I was really confused.
"I don't understand." I said, "I mean we are both Princes. Why would he try to kiss me?"
Izzy stopped laughing and her and Hildy locked eyes and then they looked a bit ill too.
Mark opened and closed his mouth a few times.
Hildy came and sat down in front of me and I got scared.
I mean really scared.
"Charlie, you are not really a prince." Hildy said and then rushed on as I was about to disagree.
"You aren't exactly a princess either, but you are a girl like me and Izzy."
"What?"
"Baldur tried to kiss you because he knows, well we all know that you are a girl."
"But King Dev said I was-" I trailed off as all of what I could remember suddenly came into focus and then I suddenly knew why I hadn't seen Frankfurt in 3 years, I suddenly understood why King Hal and Prince Matrim had not been invited to my birthday party.
"Oh."
I wanted to cry.
I couldn't cause Princes do not cry, ever.
I still wanted to cry because I knew that I was no longer a prince.
I was nothing. I was a girl.
Izzy said that if I wanted to, she would teach me how to be a princess, but we both knew it was pointless. Izzy wasn't a very good princess either and Hildy had sworn off being a princess when she was four. Apparently that was an epic event in Eisengarde. Hildy said her dad (me paw as she puts it) ranted for three whole days and still begged her to wear dresses almost every month since then.
In the end we decided that Prince Mark was the best candidate for becoming a Princess and oddly enough, that made Mark very happy.

When you are nine, the world becomes a different place.
I knew that I was no longer a prince, but I also knew that King Dev would never accept it.
This is the problem with Fairy Tales.

The Problem with Fairy Tales Part 3

As you have probably noticed I often think too much and then feel I need to "touch all the bases." (The court wizard, Ralph the Magnificent, tells me that has something to do with a game where you take a club and hit a ball at people and then run around a square...oh, diamond {which is a square stretched a bit} to prove you hit someone with that ball and then when you get back to the home base you declare victory and there's a group hug from your team before they go hunt down the losing team and- oh right, sorry. Ralph says that he wished I would listen to him better and that I get easily distracted {cause its boring the way he described it}- Baseball should be called Battleball).

Where was I?
Oh right, so my fairy tale came crashing down. Well I should say my father, King Dev's fairy tale came crashing down. I had turned 8 and my father decided to invite the entire 9 kingdom's for my birthday.
So almost everyone came.
As you can probably guess. King Hal declined the invite...rather violently. Well, I hear he tore up the invitation and stomped on it before ordering it burnt.
So here is who came (take note because there will be a quiz later)

1. King Olaf of Eisengarde, who brought his sons Thorn and Baldur. He also brought his daughter Brunhilda but who goes by Hildy.
2. King Mark of the Enchanted Forest (go figure. No I am serious- that's what they named it) who brought his son...wait for it...Forest. (this stuff is too good to be true! but it is).
3. King Herbert of Angsland, who brought his son, Phillip.
4. King Randalf of the Hinderlands, brought his sons Cronk and Dipcus (no I have no idea how one goes about naming your kids that).
5. King Stefan of Castille, who brought his sons Flynn, Quince, and Darin. He also brought his duaghter Izabole (or Izzy- she hates being called Izabole).
6. King Louis of  Royaume des Fluers de Fees. (something like Fairy Kingdom of Flowers) who brought his sons Louis, Louie and Godfrey (Godfrey goes by Frank- who can blame him?).
7. King Romane of Novis Talis, His sons are Henry (otherwise known as Prince Hal) and Richard (otherwise known as Rick).
8. King Jason of Arkady, his sons are Herikles (whom we call Herk) Iphikles (whom we call Ip or Ippy) and Mark (because his mother insisted)
9. King Landon of Helios, his son is George and his daughters Tricia and Helen.

 So there you have it, the Ten Kingdoms from our corner of the world. A small corner as it turned out (but that's for later). The corner was big enough for us and for the most part everyone got on save for one thing. Princes. 

Yep, each of the king's shared this one flaw- their prince had to be the best prince ever. King Dev, my father was no exception. Which made me, his son top candidate for that position.

You can see where this is leading?

another note from Charlie

Look readers, I am going to do the unforgivable

and apologize for not posting anything in a long while.

Life is seldom as clear as the MEME's would have you believe.

Prince Hal wasn't amused by this one. He read it twice and then tore it up and complained that it wasn't his fault that all he really paid attention to was her boobs and feet and why the hell does it matter anyway how long it took? He found her anyway.

That and it's not he could go around the kingdom groping women's breasts. It's probably a good thing he had that foot fetish.......

Real life, they say is not a fairy tale. I once told this to Ralph the Magnificent. He did a lot of chuckling and showed me this on his Slate (funny I always thought that slate was black and boring).

I did not show this to Prince Hal. It might be slate but it isn't Hal proof. 

Some prince's have no sense of humor!

It's funny you know that I never bothered to ask which picture was real and which one was fairy tale. Ralph probably just waved his hands around and roll his eyes. He does that around my father a lot. My father thinks it's a mental condition from doing all that magic.

A quick note from Charles

Hey readers.

 Just a note.
While my fairy tale goes on, my writer's life goes on to. He's have some troubles of his own.
He is promising to keep telling my story as he can. So bear with us. One thing all of us share, well the two of us share anyway, is the hope that it will get better from here.


Love
Charlie. <3

The Problem with Fairy Tales Part 2

They can come true.
This is not as good as it sounds.
I mean, to you, that probably sounds better than having to go to the grocery store and buy a jug of milk that isn't really milk anymore so that your wife will stop yelling at you to go to the store and buy some milk that isn't really milk anymore and you can pour in on the sugar food that your kids insist is breakfast and if they don't have some milk that isn't milk anymore they will make your life a living hell which now that you think about it, is.

Actually that kind of sounds like a fairy tale to me.
A bad one.
If I were you, I would start looking around for a horse or a troll or the wicked stepmother witch you or someone you are related to insulted or stole from sometime in the past and forgot to admit it to those living in your dungeon that you guys keep insisting is civilized life and thus I should envy it.
Because I totally do...
Well I would if I wasn't a prince living in a Huge Castle of a Rocky Island just off the Coast of Stonehaven and having servants at my beck and call that is.
If I squint really hard I can still make a comparison.

but I digress.

The Problem with Fairy Tales

What is worse than finding out that Fairy Tales are real?
Finding out that you are part of one.

What is worse than finding out that you are part of a Fairy Tale?
Finding out that you are the main character in the Fairy Tale.

Is there anything worse than that?
Oh yes, so many, many things can be worse. But since we could be here all day I am going to stick with the first two.
So I can see that you are going to to ask "But Charlie, I mean Prince Charlie what is so bad about finding out that Fairy Tales are true?
I am glad you asked me that.
When I was 7, I got my first real bow, I spent all day shooting at things with it.
I said first real bow, I had practice bows, ones that have holes in them so you don't have to hold the arrows when you pull and shoot.

In case you are wondering, I cannot draw (no matter what the King told you so I asked the court wizard to conjure me a couple of examples. He grumpled about 'Goo Gul" and gave me these.

Anyway the real difference is the hole in the stock that prevents shooting arrows perpendicularly from the bow. I have to admit at age seven,, perpendicularly was more like "oops sorry" or "my Dad can pay for that." At that point the Master at Arms decided that it would be a good idea to go back to practice arrows.

Needless to say, Artemis I am not. Some Princes are admittedly natural with bows, not me. I wasn't all that good with the practice bow, although I could shoot in straight lines. So, it was decided that someone reliable would shoot for me at all official events that would require me to shoot something. Which as it turns out was more often than not, as King Dev saw that it as a key issue to promote that he has a "son."

So, when I was seven, I went to annual Dragon Slaying tournaments and "shot and arrow" with the other princes. (I would like to note that due to a shortage of Dragons, most of these tournaments ended with pledges that if there should be any dragons that the winner would most definately go and slay them.)
In my favor, though, many of the other princes could shoot worth a lick either and also had a stand in shooter. My first stand in was a lad called Dawg.
Are you done laughing?
No? Well I will just ignore you then. Dawg was actually Doug but his father was drunk his entire life and slurred his name so bad that it just ended up being Dawg. He was a page to Sir Regibald but managed to escape exile because the King had taken a liking to him. So Prince Char and his faithful Dawg (yes- I see the humor in this statement) would go to these affairs of state and I would stand beside Dawg and he would shoot for me. Dawg was a reasonable archer. That is he hit the target for the most part. We got along fairly well until Prince Matrim had that perpendicular shooting accident and shot Dawg in the knee.
You hear around these parts men talking about how they were great adventurers until they took an arrow to the knee, it is a complete load of bull but convenient since taking a arrow to the knee is very painful and somewhat embarrassing
Dawg dropped the bow and started howling in pain. Prince Matrim started to apologize to me, he ignored Dawg.
"Sorry Prince Char." he said.
Dawg is screaming in agony.
I starred at him then down at Dawg.
King Hal (Matrim's father) ran over took in the situation, looked down at Dawg still screaming and said.
"You'd think he'd man up?" King Hal says to his son.
"Bastard!" I scream and hurl myself at King Hal who is anything but athletic. I am a seven year old ball of fury. Needless to say, I lay waste to King Hal. By the time the guards have hauled me off of King Hall, I have torn several fistfuls of his hair out, blacked his eye and chipped his right front tooth.
Prince Matrim has fled the field and has to be coaxed out from under the bleachers by his mother who picks him up and carries him out of the arena. She pointedly ignores King Hal.
Dawg is picked up as well and carried away by his father. By this point, he's whimpering.
I am still snarling at King Hal who has gotten some of his courage back now that there are several layers of guards between up.
"You insolent Girl!" He screams at me.
"That is my son, you are referring too." King Dev points out.
King Hal opens his mouth and closes it several times.
"You are crazy! Dev! Crazy."
"One more word outside of an apology and it war." King Dev says calmly.
King Hal's eyes go wide and he starts shaking his head. This turns out to be a bad move and he winces in pain and then his eyes roll back and down he goes face first into the mud. Splat.
King Dev turns to me and laughs.
"You'd think he'd man up!" He lifts me into the sky and yells.
"That's my boy!" and we spin around as everyone cheers.


That is when I realized that fairy tales were true because I was the hero in my own fairy tale.
I mean nothing happened to me. I assaulted a king and was applauded for beating up an adult.
I thought I was an awesome Boy and a prince and that nothing I did was ever going to be viewed as wrong.

It was a good fairy tale while it lasted. about 1 year.

see you tomorrow (that's prince-time for sooner or later)