Meanwhile or the Problem with Witches

Meanwhile:

Here in the present, I am commander of my father's army in times of war.

We are at war.

Kind of.

Look it's complicated. 

Stonehaven is at war with witches.

Not all witches, just one coven of them.

The only problem with that is that we are not sure which coven it is.

Remember my 12th Birthday?

Oh, I hadn't gotten to that one yet.

Hang on a second, got to run through some trenches now.
Damn I hate running through trenches.
"Keep up lassie!"
That's Grimm, he's a dwarf, Rock-Biter.
He's also my Master-at-Arms. Right now I am following him through a series of trenches that have been dug since Dad's war with the witches went from this:

to this: 

Dammit, just fell in the mud. Grimm comes back and hauls me out.

"Damn girl. you are going to be the death of me." says the man who left me alone to dodge fireballs and run in zigzags while maintaining my balance (which I did not)

Ugh, I am afraid to see what I look like right now. I can feel mud in places that I don't want to think about. Why are trenches so muddy?

I am probably telling this all wrong.

What would Rikk say?

God but I hate mud.

Once upon a time, there was this weird king named Dev who wanted a son but got a daughter. When she turned 9, she made him stop referring to her as his son. Of course, it took her punching him in the gut. this is her mother's favorite story.

So, King Dev behaved himself for the next 2 birthdays and while they were not princess fests, they were less about competition and manliness. Many of the other Kings in the 9 kingdoms breathed a sigh of relief. I mean, how many archery contests can you have, anyway?

"Is this going to take long?' Grimm asks.

"Maybe- you got a hot date?"

"Not with you."

"Lucky me" I say before pushing him into some mud.

Just my luck- he looks better the uglier he gets.

Now where was I. 

Oh right, the problem with witches, believe me there are lots of them.

problems.

On her 12th Birthday, the witches came to bless the Prince. This is customary. This particular coven of witches are popularly known as The Blessed Ones (or The Cursed Ones- depending on how the birthday party goes)

There are 8 of them. 4 of them are what men would call beautiful, 3 of them are pretty and the ugly one is their leader. (No, I don't get why the ugliest one is always the leader.)

This picture is similar, just figured you might need a visual

So, the day of the big gala came and folk came from near and wide.

My father met the witches was they came striding in. 

He immediately demanded to know what gifts they would be bestowing on his son.

Yes, he forgot.

The witches took one look at me and cackled.

Again, just a visual aid.

Before I could move, I saw my mom start to run forward as my father backhanded the lead witch.

This was a first. Dad had never hit anyone before - at least as far as I knew.

In fact, he seemed as surprised as the lead witch, Malificnessa.

He looked at his hand as if it was this new sword and as a Malificnessa gaped, spun on his heel and went back by my aghast mother to his throne to sit down and further consider his hand.

Queen Sam hastily approached Malificnessa and started to apologize when the Witch shrieked.

It was very loud and disturbing.

"How dare you strike me, whelp!"

"Please, madame witch." My mother said. "He meant no-"

"Rubbish! You are the Queen of Rubbish!" Malificnessa screeched.

"You" She pointed her gnarly hand at King Dev and gestured

"You will pay most dearly for that insult."

"Do your worst crone." King Dev said all the while posing his hand this way and that as if he was modeling a new ring.

Malificnessa drew herself to her full height and turned to one of the beautiful witches.

"Curse her!"

This witch was:

No, not her- but they do look a lot alike.

This witch was called Grimelda and she was know for having a wicked sense of humor. 

With a satisfied sirk of satisfaction, she whipped out her wand and pointed it as my mother.

At my mother's stomach to be more precise.

"Expectorium Absolutea! (or something like that)" She pronounced.

There was a sudden flash and my mother cried out in pain and crumpled to the floor.

"What have you done!" King Dev shouted jumping up and racing to the queen's side. 

His bodygaurd shuffled in between the King and the witches.

Bravery was in short supply that day.

"I have Cursed you wife with infertility!" Grimelda said and then all the witches cackled.

"Damn you to the seven hells!" King Dev shouted.

"Nine hells." Ralph, the otherwise magnificent said off to my left.

"Nine?" King Dev asked.

"Nine Hells." Ralph the otherwise responded ignoring the witches.

There was laughter.

For a time, everyone stared around witches, guards, courtiers and the king.

Then I heard the laughter and it was coming from my mother.

Mom sat on the floor and laughed until her sides shook.

Things got better after that.

The witches ended up ignoring me. They debated on another curse on my father but couldn't agree on which one would be suitable and decided that if they really wanted to curse him they were going to need a stronger curse than they had ready for that occasion.

So they bit their thumbs and apparated away in puffs of smoke.

Later, after mom had finally calmed down, she told my father that the curse was useless since she had gotten another witch to curse her with infertility over 7 years ago.

My father stormed. 

My mother calmly thanked our guests,

and the guests left as well (there was some thumb biting there too)

When everyone had gone, my father demanded an explanation.

Queen Sam nodded at him then walked over to where I sat on the dias (throne) and sat down next to me.

"You are a stupid, arrogant man." She said. "I love you, the stars only know why."

He opened his mouth to speak and Queen Sam held up one finger.

"You have acted like such an ass where our daughter is concerned that I decided if I were to bear you a son, you would forget you even had a daughter- who loves you as well."

"So this is not a joke then?" Dad said dropping down on a bench.

"No and don't you dare do something else stupid."

"I won't."

He did.

A year later, King Devlin issued a proclamation against all witches and he turned out every witch his men could find.

Ironically there were eight of them.

They were not the same witches, but it didn't matter.

Also ironically, Mom conceived and had my brother nine months after that.

And then 5 years later. 

The 8 Cursed Ones returned and declared war on Stone Haven and cursed my father with warts.

Right now, I don't know if the warts were the actual curse or just an afterthought.

It blows my mind, that it took 8 witches that long to get the spell components to cast a curse.

Witches are not to be trifled with.

Well, I got to run, another barrage is coming.