The Problem with Fairy Tales Part 5

Dragons!
why does it always end up with a dragon?
Did someone just inform the storyteller guild that there must always be a dragon? Is the some rule that dictates this kind of thing?
I mean I am a man/woman/prince and I should have been prepared for this but I stand there dumbstruck as Grimm begins "Dragon Killing class" and throws me a rock. I look at him, I look at the rock and then I look up. I hold up the rock and shrug.
Dragons.
I see stars and the sky and the grass. I hear a lot of cussing in Dwarfish and someone sits me up. Grimm comes into view and checks me over. he grunts and someone stands me up. a helmet is shoved on my head and the rock is handed back to me. I stare at the rock, I feel a sudden compulsion to wave at it. There is a loud clunk and I pitch over as the world spins and there is more dwarfish cussing.
Dragons.
well damn.

So where was I?

In case, you have just wandered into this fairy tale, let me bring you up to speed. First, take a seat out of the line of fire. Ready?
Good.
Once upon a time there was a handsome princess named Charlie. She was fair of face and noble of heart and her father was a raving lunatic who was determined that she must go on a quest and find fame and fortune and apparently another princess to rescue since princes in distress are in short supply.
I did offer to put a few of the smirking princes in peril when my father chose to reveal this at my 19th birthday party which lucky for me was a small affair with only three of the princes I was still talking to and a couple of the princesses. I ground my teeth and my mother grimaced at it and shook her head ever so slightly.
It took a moment to realize that everyone was looking at me expectantly. Izzy and Hildy were giving me the thumbs up sign and Mark was smiling, Hal flinched and looked away and Stefan looked sick.
I turned to glare at my father who gave me a pleading look then looked away.
"Fine! I'll do it."
Oh they liked that, cheers and all.
My mother did what Ralph the Stupendous describes as the FacePalm of Mindless Frustration.
I knew I was in trouble then.
Then as if there is any doubt my father actually rubbed his hands together.
"First thing you need to do is find the Old Crone MacBee."
"Who?" I ask, my father ignores me.
"Two, you need to get the magic sword of Fiery Tongue from the Ogre of Dunsmarch."
"Ogre?"
"Yes, Ogre." Then King Devon made a lot of lumbering around and it took a moment before anyone figured out that he was acting like what he assumed was an ogre. He stopped when my mother burst out laughing and scowled at her. Then he turned back to me.
"Three, once you have secured the sword, you will travel to the Pits of Despare!" and yes he rolled the "r."
"And?"
"Four! Slay the Dragon Darkfell!"
"Wai- dragon?"
"It's a relatively small dragon." King Devon stopped and displayed the approximate size between his hands which was about 13 spits (Ralph says thats about a 12 inches).
"Dragon?"
"Five, once you have slain the Dragon, you will rescue the princess." At this point, King Devin consults his notes. "Princess Buttercup."
"Dragon?"
"With true loves kiss." King Devon actually reads this last bit.
"Dragon?"
"Pay attention."
"Dragon."

Needless to say. I don't get past Dragon for the rest of the night.
Despite everyone best efforts to the contrary.