Once upon a time, far, far, far away.
Well, not so far away as that.
There was the Magical Kingdom of StoneHaven
My Home.
"Then one day a dragon ate it."
What dragon?
"I'm sure I can whip one up."
You're an idiot.
"Says you."
I am the narrator.
"And what difference does that make?"
My boyfriend is a toad.
"Ouch."
So, we went off on an adventure, slew a dragon, rescued a princess, who my idiot father, the king, insists I must marry. Never mind, that I am a girl and she's a girl and you know what? My father is to blame for this, mostly.
My father is King Devon of StoneHaven, a little kingdom off the beaten track near Far Far Away. There are seven other kingdoms and some duchies that make up our neck of the woods.
Beyond the lands of the 9 kingdoms are the Witch Wastes to the south, the Dragon Wastes to the North, the Land of Myr to the West and Wizard Estates to the East. In between these vast lands and wastelands are the 18 Seas. I won't name them here since I usually forget what the other 17 are. Geography is not my strong point
"8 Kingdoms and 9 Duchies."
"What?"
"You said 9 Kingdoms."
"I know what I said, Jane."
"If there are only 8 kingdoms, how come you said there was a ninth? It makes no sense."
I love it when she pouts.
"I am not pouting."
It's the duchies. There are 9 of them and collectively they insist on being the Ninth Kingdom.
"So why not say that in the first place?"
"Because the Baronies would find out and insist that there were enough of them to form a 10th kingdom." That's not happening.
"Why isn't it happening?"
Sometimes I wonder if I think out loud.
"It's these magic books that Flynn sells that shows the story as you write it."
"Remind me to kill Flynn."
"He was just sore that you are going to marry me instead of him."
He could have asked!!!!
Jane says nothing.
Where was I?
Oh, right. Once upon a time, there was a-
"What are ye writing, Lassie?"
"Nothing Grimm! I am, however, trying to write in peace."
That means NO DWARVES, GOBLINS OR DRAGONS.
"Well, ye don't have to be rude."
Sometimes rude is the only way to be.
