A Difficulty with Dragons part 4

What the hell just happened?

Oh right I just fell into a sewer.
No. That's not it.
I means it's cold and smells worse that the latrines in the fish quarter of Dad's city, Pewghast.

Yeah, that's the name of the city now. Dad renamed it.
He is king after all.

Damn but it is cold down here.
I am currently upside down on a slope of very cold loose rocks that clink
No wait, rocks don't clink.
Do they?

I have a bad feeling about this.

Carefully I try to sit up and only end up rolling sliding down the rest of the slope until I plant my head inside of something round and concave but definitely metal- dull clunk,

I had better be alone down here.
That's all I have to say.
It's black as night or darker than night though slowly starless nights are really dark.
I carefully remove my head from the pot thing and lie back and wait for the darkness to adjust.
I mean my eyes to adjust to the darkness.
It doesn't.
I want to cuss.

I hate being cold and in the dark.
Then.


I let out a scream that is like a banshee who get her finger stuck in a cookie jar filled with scorpions who are really pissed off for being shaken up being some ignoramus.
Let's just saying it was a once in a life time scream that to this day I am glad only the
Dragon and I had to endure.

The Dragon for his part was not amused.
He looked at me out from under all those coins and treasure.
And I looked at him (and I am assuming at this point it's a he) and screamed my scream.




I finally run out of scream and lie back and gasp for a time, when I look back the dragon's eye is still there. unblinking and as big as I am.
It strikes me this dragon is bigger than the one who ate our horses.
I feel like screaming all over again. I even suck in the wind to began again.
Instead I am covered in a sudden downpour of coins.

When it stops the Dragon has removed it's head from the pile and is now considering me.
I open my mouth.

"Please don't scream again."

A deep voice says in a distinctly Morovian accent (Ralph says Morovians remind him of Vulcans- Ralph was not clear what that means however)

"O-okay."

"Thank you ever so much." The Dragon replies.

"Please don't eat me." I, Prince Charlie of the Mighty Kingdom of Stonehaven, Defendor of the Realm and blah, blah, blah- squeaks out.

"Why would I eat you?"

Can dragons look offended?
Will have to ask Ralph, should I live through this one, although he probably will just grumble about having to cast his google spell again.

"Be-because that's what dragons do?"

"Who told you this lie?"

"My Grandmother?" A total lie, not having a grandmother (which is a whole other story).

"This is why dragons and humans don't mix." The dragon says and looks "disgusted."

"Well, that's a relief." I say and then regret it.

"You are human. you do look a bit like a knight."

"I am a knight- prince-uh well Prince knight, although I haven't been knighted yet but as soon as I slay a dragon I will be- oh I mean - well that's a bad choice of words... i'll just shut up now."

"You talk like a girl human though."

"Well, I am a girl persay...I mean I am."

"You just said you were a prince? have things changed a lot in the last 100 years or so?"

"No- I mean yes, no I mean- I don't know, it's a long convoluted story."

"I feel dizzy."

Yep, Prince Charlie has confused a dragon without even getting up off her butt.



notice: Ralph would like to thank Peter Jackson and the Hobbit movies for use of the Smaug pictures. we are liberally using them to describe a dragon that has no direct relation to the dragon in the picture nor the voice of Benedict Cumberbatch, Also New Line pictures and their lawyers please don't sue us since we like living in fairy tales or something.