What is worse than finding out that Fairy Tales are real?
Finding out that you are part of one.
What is worse than finding out that you are part of a Fairy Tale?
Finding out that you are the main character in the Fairy Tale.
Is there anything worse than that?
Oh yes, so many, many things can be worse. But since we could be here all day I am going to stick with the first two.
So I can see that you are going to to ask "But Charlie, I mean Prince Charlie what is so bad about finding out that Fairy Tales are true?
I am glad you asked me that.
When I was 7, I got my first real bow, I spent all day shooting at things with it.
I said first real bow, I had practice bows, ones that have holes in them so you don't have to hold the arrows when you pull and shoot.
In case you are wondering, I cannot draw (no matter what the King told you so I asked the court wizard to conjure me a couple of examples. He grumpled about 'Goo Gul" and gave me these.
Anyway the real difference is the hole in the stock that prevents shooting arrows perpendicularly from the bow. I have to admit at age seven,, perpendicularly was more like "oops sorry" or "my Dad can pay for that." At that point the Master at Arms decided that it would be a good idea to go back to practice arrows.
Needless to say, Artemis I am not. Some Princes are admittedly natural with bows, not me. I wasn't all that good with the practice bow, although I could shoot in straight lines. So, it was decided that someone reliable would shoot for me at all official events that would require me to shoot something. Which as it turns out was more often than not, as King Dev saw that it as a key issue to promote that he has a "son."
So, when I was seven, I went to annual Dragon Slaying tournaments and "shot and arrow" with the other princes. (I would like to note that due to a shortage of Dragons, most of these tournaments ended with pledges that if there should be any dragons that the winner would most definately go and slay them.)
In my favor, though, many of the other princes could shoot worth a lick either and also had a stand in shooter. My first stand in was a lad called Dawg.
Are you done laughing?
No? Well I will just ignore you then. Dawg was actually Doug but his father was drunk his entire life and slurred his name so bad that it just ended up being Dawg. He was a page to Sir Regibald but managed to escape exile because the King had taken a liking to him. So Prince Char and his faithful Dawg (yes- I see the humor in this statement) would go to these affairs of state and I would stand beside Dawg and he would shoot for me. Dawg was a reasonable archer. That is he hit the target for the most part. We got along fairly well until Prince Matrim had that perpendicular shooting accident and shot Dawg in the knee.
You hear around these parts men talking about how they were great adventurers until they took an arrow to the knee, it is a complete load of bull but convenient since taking a arrow to the knee is very painful and somewhat embarrassing
Dawg dropped the bow and started howling in pain. Prince Matrim started to apologize to me, he ignored Dawg.
"Sorry Prince Char." he said.
Dawg is screaming in agony.
I starred at him then down at Dawg.
King Hal (Matrim's father) ran over took in the situation, looked down at Dawg still screaming and said.
"You'd think he'd man up?" King Hal says to his son.
"Bastard!" I scream and hurl myself at King Hal who is anything but athletic. I am a seven year old ball of fury. Needless to say, I lay waste to King Hal. By the time the guards have hauled me off of King Hall, I have torn several fistfuls of his hair out, blacked his eye and chipped his right front tooth.
Prince Matrim has fled the field and has to be coaxed out from under the bleachers by his mother who picks him up and carries him out of the arena. She pointedly ignores King Hal.
Dawg is picked up as well and carried away by his father. By this point, he's whimpering.
I am still snarling at King Hal who has gotten some of his courage back now that there are several layers of guards between up.
"You insolent Girl!" He screams at me.
"That is my son, you are referring too." King Dev points out.
King Hal opens his mouth and closes it several times.
"You are crazy! Dev! Crazy."
"One more word outside of an apology and it war." King Dev says calmly.
King Hal's eyes go wide and he starts shaking his head. This turns out to be a bad move and he winces in pain and then his eyes roll back and down he goes face first into the mud. Splat.
King Dev turns to me and laughs.
"You'd think he'd man up!" He lifts me into the sky and yells.
"That's my boy!" and we spin around as everyone cheers.
That is when I realized that fairy tales were true because I was the hero in my own fairy tale.
I mean nothing happened to me. I assaulted a king and was applauded for beating up an adult.
I thought I was an awesome Boy and a prince and that nothing I did was ever going to be viewed as wrong.
It was a good fairy tale while it lasted. about 1 year.
see you tomorrow (that's prince-time for sooner or later)
Finding out that you are part of one.
What is worse than finding out that you are part of a Fairy Tale?
Finding out that you are the main character in the Fairy Tale.
Is there anything worse than that?
Oh yes, so many, many things can be worse. But since we could be here all day I am going to stick with the first two.
So I can see that you are going to to ask "But Charlie, I mean Prince Charlie what is so bad about finding out that Fairy Tales are true?
I am glad you asked me that.
When I was 7, I got my first real bow, I spent all day shooting at things with it.
I said first real bow, I had practice bows, ones that have holes in them so you don't have to hold the arrows when you pull and shoot.
In case you are wondering, I cannot draw (no matter what the King told you so I asked the court wizard to conjure me a couple of examples. He grumpled about 'Goo Gul" and gave me these.
Anyway the real difference is the hole in the stock that prevents shooting arrows perpendicularly from the bow. I have to admit at age seven,, perpendicularly was more like "oops sorry" or "my Dad can pay for that." At that point the Master at Arms decided that it would be a good idea to go back to practice arrows.
Needless to say, Artemis I am not. Some Princes are admittedly natural with bows, not me. I wasn't all that good with the practice bow, although I could shoot in straight lines. So, it was decided that someone reliable would shoot for me at all official events that would require me to shoot something. Which as it turns out was more often than not, as King Dev saw that it as a key issue to promote that he has a "son."
So, when I was seven, I went to annual Dragon Slaying tournaments and "shot and arrow" with the other princes. (I would like to note that due to a shortage of Dragons, most of these tournaments ended with pledges that if there should be any dragons that the winner would most definately go and slay them.)
In my favor, though, many of the other princes could shoot worth a lick either and also had a stand in shooter. My first stand in was a lad called Dawg.
Are you done laughing?
No? Well I will just ignore you then. Dawg was actually Doug but his father was drunk his entire life and slurred his name so bad that it just ended up being Dawg. He was a page to Sir Regibald but managed to escape exile because the King had taken a liking to him. So Prince Char and his faithful Dawg (yes- I see the humor in this statement) would go to these affairs of state and I would stand beside Dawg and he would shoot for me. Dawg was a reasonable archer. That is he hit the target for the most part. We got along fairly well until Prince Matrim had that perpendicular shooting accident and shot Dawg in the knee.
You hear around these parts men talking about how they were great adventurers until they took an arrow to the knee, it is a complete load of bull but convenient since taking a arrow to the knee is very painful and somewhat embarrassing
Dawg dropped the bow and started howling in pain. Prince Matrim started to apologize to me, he ignored Dawg.
"Sorry Prince Char." he said.
Dawg is screaming in agony.
I starred at him then down at Dawg.
King Hal (Matrim's father) ran over took in the situation, looked down at Dawg still screaming and said.
"You'd think he'd man up?" King Hal says to his son.
"Bastard!" I scream and hurl myself at King Hal who is anything but athletic. I am a seven year old ball of fury. Needless to say, I lay waste to King Hal. By the time the guards have hauled me off of King Hall, I have torn several fistfuls of his hair out, blacked his eye and chipped his right front tooth.
Prince Matrim has fled the field and has to be coaxed out from under the bleachers by his mother who picks him up and carries him out of the arena. She pointedly ignores King Hal.
Dawg is picked up as well and carried away by his father. By this point, he's whimpering.
I am still snarling at King Hal who has gotten some of his courage back now that there are several layers of guards between up.
"You insolent Girl!" He screams at me.
"That is my son, you are referring too." King Dev points out.
King Hal opens his mouth and closes it several times.
"You are crazy! Dev! Crazy."
"One more word outside of an apology and it war." King Dev says calmly.
King Hal's eyes go wide and he starts shaking his head. This turns out to be a bad move and he winces in pain and then his eyes roll back and down he goes face first into the mud. Splat.
King Dev turns to me and laughs.
"You'd think he'd man up!" He lifts me into the sky and yells.
"That's my boy!" and we spin around as everyone cheers.
That is when I realized that fairy tales were true because I was the hero in my own fairy tale.
I mean nothing happened to me. I assaulted a king and was applauded for beating up an adult.
I thought I was an awesome Boy and a prince and that nothing I did was ever going to be viewed as wrong.
It was a good fairy tale while it lasted. about 1 year.
see you tomorrow (that's prince-time for sooner or later)
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