Imagine if you will what it would like to find yourself in a messy house with a "teenage' Dragon storming into it yelling that "it wasn't fair" and "They are being mean to me again Mom!"
Well, suddenly I am bathed in light and find that I am not actually sitting on a pile of coins but stuff- like cloth, bones, some copper coins, a few metal vases, some broken pots, scraps of plate armor, a couple of bent weapons and what could only pass of something Ralph calls Beer "cans" thought they don't look like any can I have ever seen. Sometimes, I just don't know what Ralph is talking about.
I am sitting on a pile of refuse in a messy dungeon/cave with inadequate lighting and there is an enormous Dragon not 25 feet from me with a migraine while another much smaller but still gigantic Dragon struts around flapping its wings as it complains about the princess and her entourage not cooperating with what the dragon wants and that they are now calling it names.
Hi, I am Prince Charlie of Stonehaven and I have fallen into a domestic parody of life as I have never even dared to imagine it.
The younger dragon stops dead in mid-strut and stares at me.
I wave with one hand as the other gropes around for my sword which is almost in reach but not quite.
"You have company!" the Dragon says to the other.
"Is that a problem?" The Mama? Dragon says.
"No, but its a human." the younger Dragon says
"Is that a problem?"
"I can leave? I'll just see my way out-" I volunteer hopping up and trying to brush of the debris.
"We eat humans." The younger Dragon retorts.
"I don't eat humans, you might but they give me terrible gas." says the Moma Dragon.
"I like horses better." The younger dragon says then flounces over to a large round shape thing in a corner, sweeps off a pile of armor and saddles, then flops onto it and rolls onto it's back.
"I'm bored!"
I actually get to my sword, before I see both dragons eyeing me suspiciously.
I shrug and sit down on a barrel.
"You wanted to live in the Dragon Lands, Kreos, I want to move to the Tropics, but no, nothing would please you but to move here."
"Mom, puleeze, not in front of the food, I know I said that but I really thought that there would be Dragons in the Dragon Lands."
"Kreos, if you had listened to me, you'd know that the food have a habit of hunting us down and slaying us- so much that the Dragon Lands have no more Dragons. Frankly after Sendova called it quits and moved to the TROPICS, I figured you'd get a clue. Now look at us!"
"You are always blaming me for everything!" and the Dragon Kreos jumped up and stormed for the door, then stopped.
"Well look what happened with Mort the Mean."
I just saw a Dragon rolls its eyes.
"This is all your fault! Just for that I am going to eat your friends!"
"Kreos! Go to your lair, this instant young lady!"
"Mom! But-"
"Now!"
Do Dragons cry?
Kreos definitely made a sound as she flounced off to her lair slamming the door.
"Kids" Mom said and the Dragon rolled over and put her hands (I mean legs or claws over her face).
This presents me with Good news and Bad news.
The Bad News:
1) Dragons are a lot like humans. If I need to explain why this is a bad thing then you don't know any teenagers.
2) Kreos is a girl's name in Dragon speak. If you don't understand the irony, you have never heard the legend of the God of War 1 2 or 3.
3) Kreos is going to eat Alex and Luke and Wilks out of spite. No one eats dwarves I think.
4) Mom is having control issues with her child, well that could be a good thing.
5) I knew this was all going to come back to that jerk Mort the Merciless.
The Good News:
1) the others are still alive. Probably.
2) I still have my sword, not sure what I am going to do with it.
3) There is a princess, although it doesn't sound like she needs rescued?
4) There is a door out of here.
5) At least one Dragon gets migraines.
Did I mention the door?
"Now, what am I going to do with you, Prince Charlie?'
Dragons can actually scream and whimper at the same time, but I am long gone.
Well, suddenly I am bathed in light and find that I am not actually sitting on a pile of coins but stuff- like cloth, bones, some copper coins, a few metal vases, some broken pots, scraps of plate armor, a couple of bent weapons and what could only pass of something Ralph calls Beer "cans" thought they don't look like any can I have ever seen. Sometimes, I just don't know what Ralph is talking about.
I am sitting on a pile of refuse in a messy dungeon/cave with inadequate lighting and there is an enormous Dragon not 25 feet from me with a migraine while another much smaller but still gigantic Dragon struts around flapping its wings as it complains about the princess and her entourage not cooperating with what the dragon wants and that they are now calling it names.
Hi, I am Prince Charlie of Stonehaven and I have fallen into a domestic parody of life as I have never even dared to imagine it.
The younger dragon stops dead in mid-strut and stares at me.
I wave with one hand as the other gropes around for my sword which is almost in reach but not quite.
"You have company!" the Dragon says to the other.
"Is that a problem?" The Mama? Dragon says.
"No, but its a human." the younger Dragon says
"Is that a problem?"
"I can leave? I'll just see my way out-" I volunteer hopping up and trying to brush of the debris.
"We eat humans." The younger Dragon retorts.
"I don't eat humans, you might but they give me terrible gas." says the Moma Dragon.
"I like horses better." The younger dragon says then flounces over to a large round shape thing in a corner, sweeps off a pile of armor and saddles, then flops onto it and rolls onto it's back.
"I'm bored!"
I actually get to my sword, before I see both dragons eyeing me suspiciously.
I shrug and sit down on a barrel.
"You wanted to live in the Dragon Lands, Kreos, I want to move to the Tropics, but no, nothing would please you but to move here."
"Mom, puleeze, not in front of the food, I know I said that but I really thought that there would be Dragons in the Dragon Lands."
"Kreos, if you had listened to me, you'd know that the food have a habit of hunting us down and slaying us- so much that the Dragon Lands have no more Dragons. Frankly after Sendova called it quits and moved to the TROPICS, I figured you'd get a clue. Now look at us!"
"You are always blaming me for everything!" and the Dragon Kreos jumped up and stormed for the door, then stopped.
"Well look what happened with Mort the Mean."
I just saw a Dragon rolls its eyes.
"This is all your fault! Just for that I am going to eat your friends!"
"Kreos! Go to your lair, this instant young lady!"
"Mom! But-"
"Now!"
Do Dragons cry?
Kreos definitely made a sound as she flounced off to her lair slamming the door.
"Kids" Mom said and the Dragon rolled over and put her hands (I mean legs or claws over her face).
This presents me with Good news and Bad news.
The Bad News:
1) Dragons are a lot like humans. If I need to explain why this is a bad thing then you don't know any teenagers.
2) Kreos is a girl's name in Dragon speak. If you don't understand the irony, you have never heard the legend of the God of War 1 2 or 3.
3) Kreos is going to eat Alex and Luke and Wilks out of spite. No one eats dwarves I think.
4) Mom is having control issues with her child, well that could be a good thing.
5) I knew this was all going to come back to that jerk Mort the Merciless.
The Good News:
1) the others are still alive. Probably.
2) I still have my sword, not sure what I am going to do with it.
3) There is a princess, although it doesn't sound like she needs rescued?
4) There is a door out of here.
5) At least one Dragon gets migraines.
Did I mention the door?
"Now, what am I going to do with you, Prince Charlie?'
Dragons can actually scream and whimper at the same time, but I am long gone.
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