I am running in the dark.
I mean I have been in the dark pretty much since I left Stonehaven.
And here I am pounding my way up a tunnel from a cave in near absolute darkness.
It's times like this I wonder things like- what was that with Mort? I thought he was a bad ass Dragonslayer? If Mort bit off more than he could chew, what chance did I have of slaying even one mostly immature Dragon?
I know what you are going to ask right now. Why do I keep capitalizing Dragon?
No?
Okay, that's what I thought you wanted to know.
I hate running into Dragons.
But that's exactly what I end up doing.
One minute I and in full sprint in the direction I hope is out then I hit something solid and very hard like a bumpy wall. I keel over like anyone who runs face first into a block wall.
Then there is light, a lot of light.
To my credit the Dragon Kreos did jump up at the moment of impact...well, that's what Grimm says anyway. Dwarves are pretty inedible as it turns out.
Kreos looks down at me lying flat on my back, stars spinning around the planets and stuff.
I feel my right foot grabbed and I am pulled out of the dark tunnel and slung up into the air and I see Grimm trussed up in a iron cage hanging upside down somehow suspended above this floor that is weirdly sloped and then I understand it is really the ceiling and I am upside down.
Alex and Luke and Wilks all scream my name from the large iron pot in the middle of the floor.
I wave at them.
They are Fuked. I mean they are stuffed in a steaming cauldron full of brownish fluid.
They keep screaming.
I look around and then I see the dragon with his mouth open and tongue coming out to lick me?
(this is very weird)
I don't think about it too long I just stab at it with my sword.
poke!
There's a yowl of pain and the room spins as I am thrown head over heals across the room before bouncing into a wall like a sack of potatoes.
Whoof!
You know that sound makes sense to me now that I have been thrown into a wall. I mean when I saw it in the picture books it never made much sense until now.
I land in Mort's lap, just for the record, Mort the Merciless, Scourge of the Dragon Barrens is very dead but reasonably preserved, I mean I can still see the surprise in his dead face like he was stunned at whatever killed him.
I would scream but my three guards have that covered.
Instead I grab the sword in Mort's cold dead hands and swing it with all my considerable might and cut the Dragon's-
(head off?)
Uhm, well no.
I cut a knick in it's cheek. I mean that's almost the same thing, right?
Kreos give a blood curdling scream and flees the room howling in agony.
I look at the sword, which glowing, and shrug.
There is silence in the kitchen until Grimm says.
"Will someone climb out of the blasted gravy and get me down from here?
I mean I have been in the dark pretty much since I left Stonehaven.
And here I am pounding my way up a tunnel from a cave in near absolute darkness.
It's times like this I wonder things like- what was that with Mort? I thought he was a bad ass Dragonslayer? If Mort bit off more than he could chew, what chance did I have of slaying even one mostly immature Dragon?
I know what you are going to ask right now. Why do I keep capitalizing Dragon?
No?
Okay, that's what I thought you wanted to know.
I hate running into Dragons.
But that's exactly what I end up doing.
One minute I and in full sprint in the direction I hope is out then I hit something solid and very hard like a bumpy wall. I keel over like anyone who runs face first into a block wall.
Then there is light, a lot of light.
To my credit the Dragon Kreos did jump up at the moment of impact...well, that's what Grimm says anyway. Dwarves are pretty inedible as it turns out.
Kreos looks down at me lying flat on my back, stars spinning around the planets and stuff.
I feel my right foot grabbed and I am pulled out of the dark tunnel and slung up into the air and I see Grimm trussed up in a iron cage hanging upside down somehow suspended above this floor that is weirdly sloped and then I understand it is really the ceiling and I am upside down.
Alex and Luke and Wilks all scream my name from the large iron pot in the middle of the floor.
I wave at them.
They are Fuked. I mean they are stuffed in a steaming cauldron full of brownish fluid.
They keep screaming.
I look around and then I see the dragon with his mouth open and tongue coming out to lick me?
(this is very weird)
I don't think about it too long I just stab at it with my sword.
poke!
There's a yowl of pain and the room spins as I am thrown head over heals across the room before bouncing into a wall like a sack of potatoes.
Whoof!
You know that sound makes sense to me now that I have been thrown into a wall. I mean when I saw it in the picture books it never made much sense until now.
I land in Mort's lap, just for the record, Mort the Merciless, Scourge of the Dragon Barrens is very dead but reasonably preserved, I mean I can still see the surprise in his dead face like he was stunned at whatever killed him.
I would scream but my three guards have that covered.
Instead I grab the sword in Mort's cold dead hands and swing it with all my considerable might and cut the Dragon's-
(head off?)
Uhm, well no.
I cut a knick in it's cheek. I mean that's almost the same thing, right?
Kreos give a blood curdling scream and flees the room howling in agony.
I look at the sword, which glowing, and shrug.
There is silence in the kitchen until Grimm says.
"Will someone climb out of the blasted gravy and get me down from here?
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