What Really happened at the Parasite Inn...well mostly

The troll sat down at the table.

"I am an Ogre."

What?

"O-G-R-E."

Oh, right. So the Ogre sat down at our table, taking the chair left for Grimm.

Alright. Now where was I?

"No singing." The Ogre says.

No singing. The narrator hangs his head in defeat.

"Is she going to catch up?" The Ogre asks.

What?

"I sat down and tossed that idiot guard of yours into the wall and-"

Fine. Everyone's a critic.

"So are trolls." The Ogre says.

I hate Ogres.

"So, why are you sitting here?" Max asks.

"Cuz' you guys are more interesting than the Orcs. bound to be more talkative than those witches and less chatty than the goblins."

"Did you say witches?" I ask glancing around.

"And you got a Dragon's head." the Ogre continues pretending not to hear me.

" I did hear you, but we need to build plot."

"Tension, you build tension to add enhance the plot."

"Close enough."

"What are you two going on about?" Jane says.

"Nevermind." The Ogre and I both says and take a drink.

"So, I got a proposition for you guys." The Ogre says.

"I'm listening." I say.

"This is a bad idea." Max says.

"What is a bad idea?" The Ogre says.

"Listening to ogres." Max says and gives me a meaningful look before glancing at the door.

"No." I say.

Max sulks.

"I like the prince already." the Ogre says. "Why do you keep calling me the Ogre?"

What?

"The Ogre?'

"I don't know your name and-"

"You know there are other ogres, right?"

"You mean like your wif-" Max starts.

"Nevermind, here's my proposal." the ogre says. (he grins at me) "Better."

The ogre-who shall not be named for copywrite reasons (that's what Ralph says)- leans towards me and hunches over. It is amazing how low and near to the table top he can hunch.
"Focus" the ogre says.
"Sorry."
"Now, what I need you to do for me is-"
"Now what's this?" Grimm's face appears between us. I lean back since Grimm smells really bad right now. (NO, dwarves never smell that bad. No I am not being racist against dwarves.)
I see Grimm has Metasprocket in the crook of his left arm. The gnome looks a bit blue.

"Go away- Dwarf." the ogre says.

"Fuke you, Greenie!" Grimm says as he winds up and for a moment, I am sure he's going to hit max, but he hits Metasprocket on the head, popping him out of his arm "whacka mole" style, sending the gnome reeling across the bar to crash down on top of Luke who is still sprawled in the corner by the fire.

"Go away, Dwarf." the ogre growls.

"I will not and you canna make me." Grimm announces before planting his fists on his hips.

The ogre rolls his eyes, cusses under his breath (it's definitely a curse), then punches Grimm right in his grinning face with one green meaty fist. Grimm's eyes roll up as well and he goes down like a tree.

"Now where was I?" The ogre says cracking his knuckles.

"You had some cockamanny plan." Max says.

"Oh right, the proposal." the ogre grins at him. "I need you to go to Ashdown Moor and bring me a Dumb Ass."

"Excuse me?" I say.
"What's a Dumbass?" Jane asks almost at the same time.

"Ladies." the ogre says. "I would go myself but he's not talking to me and I have other problems."

"What's a Dumbass?" Jane asks again.

"I think he is saying a Dumb Ass?" Max says.

"Is there a difference?" Jane asks Max, who shrugs, they both look at the ogre who is face-palming.

With a heavy sigh, the ogre holds up his finger at Max.

"Well for one thing-" there's a whoosh as Grimm's axe flies up into the corner of my eye and down towards the ogre, there's a crunch noise and Grimm comes into holding onto the haft of his axe.

"Ow!" the ogre exclaims.

"Gotye!" Grimm announces pulling on his axe.

The ogre shakes his finger, there's a pretty large splinter stuck in it.

"That looks painful." I say.

"If that's all Grimms axe did." Max says "Then what did he hit with the axe?"

The table shakes, then tips and all our drink slide down towards Grimm's face.

"Oh crap." Grimm says as a flagon of beer hits him in the forehead following by 3 cups of grog, one glass of wine, a loaf of bread, the bread board, and a dirty spoon. Grimm goes back down.

We all sit there looking at Grimm on the floor, the tilted table, and the ogre who is staring at the splinter in his finger.

Then the ogre roars. Grabs the table and hurls it across the room into a pack of orcs.

He looks over at the remains of the table, pulls the splinter out, and says.

"oops."

We look at the Orcs (they are big orcs too, they are all wearing black leather jackets with chains).
We look at each other.
We look at the ogre.

"He's not with us." Max says "We-"
Then he's catches a plate of food in the face.
Jane yells as she dodges the remains of the food, Alex screams like a girl and makes for the door.
The door burst open and admits the octopus woman who has several thugs with her.

"That's them." She announces and points right at me.

"I think a song and dance would have been better!" I yell before I charge across the room and jump the bar.

What happens at the Parasite Inn, should have stayed at the Parasite Inn part duex (and you say deux with an oomph!)

The Ogre turns to Alex.

"Pardon me." He says as he displays his teeth. Pretty nice dentistry. "Do you have an axe."

"Uhhhhh." Alex says in his suave yet contemplative manner. "I'll get one." then he scrambles away.

"Why do you need an axe?" Max asks.

"Well, Eugene- I can call you Eugene, right." The Ogre says.

"No," Max retorts.

"Well, Eugene, since you asked and have not spent much time around shady bars like this one." With this, the Ogre flourishes his arms out in a wide arc to the rest of the bar. "I'll tell you."

Silence, Max stares- I mean glares at the Ogre.

"I need the axe to start the music."

"Aha!" Max yells and jumps to his feet. "You're the Barbarian with the hook hand who plays piano!"

The Ogre looks puzzled.

Max slumps back into his stool, drops his head to the table. "Nevermind, wrong fairy tale."

Alex returns dragging a double bladed two-handed battle axe with a chipped right blade.

"Will this do sir Ogre?"

The Ogre studies it for a moment before reaching out and then flicking it out with a quick snap.
We all watch it sail through the air across the bar to bury itself in the far wall right about a unhappy, way too sober minstrel who screams and grabs his ukelele (no I have no idea what a ukelele is but I like saying it though) and commences strumming it madly.

The Ogre looks at me as I jump up on the table and definitely do not sing:

or

So what was the first song that came to mind to sing?
Why that merry old tune
As Good as the Prince Is.
Everyone loves that one!

"No they don't."

Well they will now.
(what follows is the song...mostly)

Me: "She said, I've seen you in here before."
The Ogre jumps up
The Ogre: "I've been in here a time or three!"
He bows low.

Me: "She said, "Hello my name is Princess Trinity.
meet my sisters Joela and Bethany.
We're all feeling kind of bored tonight
and you're the only knight in this place
if you're up for a rescue, then we can put a big
fairy tale reward on your face!"

The Ogre: "Ladies.
I am not as good as I once was,
I have several years on me now
not long ago I was in my prime
I could swing my sword, it was sublime!"

The Ogre plucks me off the table and acts as if to kiss me.
Max jumps up to stop this and the ogre trips him with his other foot.
Max eeps as he hits the floor.

The Ogre:"I could put my enemies down low
I could say them words real slow
I can probably love you all tonight
I might be brave enough
I am not as good as I once was
but I am evil when the going gets tough."

That wasn't so bad. right?
"No."
Aw Jane, not you too.

Me: "I still hang out at this bar with my gal Jane.
I've known her since we were trapped in that dungeon
last week."

Jane opens her mouth, I put my finger on her lips.

Me: "Don't speak."
Jane bite my finger.

Me: "Ow, Last night she had a few drinks,
got into a tight spot with two goblins over
a game of dice, I thinks.
Then one grumpy dwarf wades in and I hear
Jane say: "Hey Prince can you lend me a hand!"

"Well that part was accurate anyway."

Wait, what.
Me: "I said, "Jane,
I am not as good as I once was
My how the years have flown by
now hang on and don't cry!
I could really hold my own!
But if they want I a fight tonight
I will drag those goblins through it
I am not as good as I once was
but I can sweep the floor with those
goblins, dwarf and um a dragon?"

Yep, there is some guy who's got Jane in a vice grip
and it's not Max.

The Ogre laughs; "Here have a flagon!"

Me:" I used to be heck on wheels
Back when I was younger Prince"

Ogre: "Not much has happened since!"

Me: "I am not as brave as I once was.
That is just the hard cold truth."

Suddenly the bar is a flurry of arms and hands as a fight breaks out.

"Actually it's been going on since the ogre started singing!"

Me: I can still trhow a good punch, talk the talk
when I am feeling arrow proof!
so you should cross right now
cause I am going to call your bluff
I am not as good as I once was
but I bet I am good enough!"

This is when I catch a mug of brew with my face and everything goes dark.

I awaken as someone dumps a bucket of water on my face.
It's the Ogre.
"Nice song princess."

Then the door bursts open and we hear.

"Shreeeee-"
The Ogre interrupts.
"Gotta go."

"It was a good song" I say to the ceiling which has a few goblins in the rafters.
"Nope." Max says, "it was awful and your dancing stinks."
"Hater's are going to hate." I say.
A gnome looks down at me and says.
"Toby Keith sent you a message."
"Read it?" I say and wave at the goblins. (they give me a rude hand gesture.)
"It reads as thus: Hey, stop pirating my music."
"Oh." I say.
"Response?" the gnome asks.
"So sorry. won't happen again." I say.

"Who's Toby Keith?" Jane asks.
She's also in the rafters.
I miss the best stuff.







"That is not what happened." Max says.

"Okay, but mine was better."

What happens at the Parasite Inn, should have stayed at the Parasite Inn

Well, we finally reached the Parasite Inn.
We actually didn't know it was called the Parasite Inn before we were standing outside it looking up at the sign.
We knew that something weird was going on because it was one of three buildings that made up the rest stop on the Coventry road out of the Dragon Wastes.
Also, we suspected that the rest of my entourage was here because there isn't another inn or bar or house in a hundred days march anywhere around here and we had found no remains that looked like them as we trudged along the road.
Also, we had discussed meeting up at an inn - okay, that's not true, Grimm said that he and Alex had discussed meeting up at an inn- in case we got separated.
The rest stop consisted of the Inn, a stable and an outhouse.
Talk about luxury. At least, there was any funny smells or dead bodies in sight, that's good, right?

"The Parasite Inn"  Max read for all of us as we stood at the door looking at the weather beaten plank upon which the name had been carefully painted.
"Lovely name. " Jane said.
"Get out of the way." Grimm said "I'm going in."
No one moved.
I blinked and looked around knowing that everyone was looking at me.
"Oh, right, because I am suddenly in charge." I breathed and looked at the sign again.
"Just make a decision." Max said.
"Fine, we will go in." So Max sweeps open the door for us and Grimm drops the dragon's hard by the door and stomps in licking his lips.
I look at the dragon's head.
"Who's going to steal it?" Jane says.
We look around.
whistling noise followed by a why ya ya sound.
This is a weird town.
I shrug and we go in.
At first glance, the Parasite Inn is a dive bar with cheap peeling paint and a ramshackle bar of tied together wood with what looks like twine.
It's actually hair, not twine.
At second glance, the Parasite Inn is a dive bar with cheap patrons swilling something that smells like unwashed longshore men and desperation. The furniture is more the left overs of a dozen ruined castles, including converted doors for tables and logs for stools. The bar is bound wood with dragon hair twine and the patrons number exactly seven.
I blink.
At a table in the center of the room sits Alex the Palace Guard, unshaven, unwashed guzzling a mug of swill, while Wilks has his head buried in his hands clutching what little is left of his hair and Luke who is midsip staring at us while his grog runs down his chin and onto the table.
There is also a gnome who looks kind of like Metta Sprocket but with more loose wires and a thing with it's "arms" wrapped around Luke like an octopus. The barkeep is a Goblin with one eye and one tooth.
And then there is a Ogre asleep at the bar.

"Hi Guys!" I say as I sit down and glance at the octowoman wrapped around Luke.
She glares at me and then at Jane and then Max and starts to unwind around Luke.

"I, uh...yeah. I will get us a drink!" Max says with a shudder at this creature who licks her slimy lips at him and he skedaddles off to the bar.
Jane and I sit down across from Alex.

"Alex this is Princess Jane, my future consort. Jane, this is the cowardly captain of the guard who left me to die at the hands...I mean claws of two blood thirsty dragons." I say this as sweetly as possible.

Alex, to his credit snaps his mouth shut, winces then blanches a dark shade of red, opens his mouth again to speak then shivers and snaps it shut almost as hard as the first time. I imagine his teeth cracking. I feel better.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Captain Coward." Jane says as she slips under my arm and into a chair next to me. We "cuddle" as Alex squirms.

Wilks looks up suddenly and squeaks, rubs his eyes and squeaks again. He is wasted.

Grimm dumps the dragon's head in the corner next to the octowoman and Luke. the octowoman looks down at the dragon head and screams in a ear splitting glass shattering wail, completely unravels herself from Luke and scrambles-
"Slithers" Jane interjects.
-away across the bar and out the back door. The rest of the bar goes silent and I become acutely aware that there is a lot of people in the bar that I did not notice before. It's one of those Tangled moments.

"What did I miss?" Max asks, returning with three cups of something.
"Grimm making his usual first impression." I say.
"Slithergirl's hastey retreat." Jane adds.
Max looks down at us. We make a space for him, he grabs a stool and sits down between Jane and me. Jane sighs, takes a cup and sips at it, coughs, grimaces, and slugs back the whole cup, then burps.

"That good?" I say.
"Tastes better than that crap that blew up the castle." Jane says.
Max eyes his.
"Garlfether said it was wine- the best he had." Max says gesturing at the Goblin barkeep.
"You mean he can talk?" I say. "I mean he only has one tooth."
Max sighs and slugs back his then spits it out in a stream of spew all over Luke- who is sitting opposite him.
"Luke, this is my boyfriend, Max. Max, this is the cowardly loser Luke, who left me to die at the claws of two vicious fire breathing dragons."
Luke stops halfway to his feet, wide eyed, rubs his face with the back of his hand and then holds it out to Max.
Max ignores it.
"Let me buy you a drink." Max hops up and heads for the bar.
Luke looks sick, then sits down and hangs his head.
"You're alive." Alex finally says.
"No thanks to you." I reply.
"Whoz alife?" Wilks asks.
"The Prince is." Alex says.
"Therz a Prince?" Wilks says.
"No, the Prince....our Prince." Alex says.
"Our Prinz" Wilks responds. "That means we're dead, right?"
"No- I mean maybe." Alex shoots me a look.

"Who's a Prince?" The Ogre says.

Luke screams (like a girl....or a scared pig or both although it would be insulting to the pig and girl, I suspect).

"I am." I say.

"But your a girl." The Ogre says.

"It's a long story." I reply.

"Sure, it's always a long story, unless you're Prince Charmin." the Ogre says as he flicks Luke out of his chair (into a wall where Luke loses his ability to capitulate and passes out in a dead faint).

"Mind if I sit down." the Ogre says sitting down.

"Yes." Jane says. "But when do you ever listen to anyone anyway."

The ogre looks at her for a time, then smiles a big toothy grin.

"You Princesses are a lot alike, you know?"

"Thanks?" Jane says.

"Yer welcome." the Ogre says and gives me a wink.

Max returns and looks at the Ogre for a long time.

The Ogre looks over at Max as well.

"I know you from somewhere." Max says.

"I was at the bar." the Ogre replies.

"No, I know you are from Far-"

"Let me stop you right there." the Ogre says. "let's all be friends, instead."

Max sits down back in his stool, looks across at the ogre, then swaps seats with Jane.

The Ogre laughs.

I notice that Grimm and the Gnome are currently in a hair pulling contest. Yep, it's Metasprocket minus an arm and some hair. He looks as angry as gnomes can manage to look angry. Dwarves always look angry so who knows if Grimm is angry or smiling or crying.

The Ogre looks at the two and shrugs.

"Nice Dragon head." he says after a moment. "which one of you killed it?"

I take a moment considering what I know about Ogres, what I suspect about this Ogre and his history with donkeys and dragons.

"An exploding castle killed him."

The Ogre looks at me for a moment and bursts out laughing.
We all laugh, although half of us probably do it out of fear.

"You know what we need?" I hear myself say.

"What's that?" Max says.

"A song and dance." I say.

"That is not what happened."

What?

"That didn't happen." Max says.

"It will be better than what did happen." Jane says.

Who's fairy tale is this?

Silence.

That's what I thought.

"What we need is a song." The Ogre said suddenly.

"And some bad dancing." I responded.

"No dancing." Max says.

"Aw come on Max." I say.

"Dammit, stop looking at me like that.....fine some dancing."

I almost clap my hands.

It's kind of what actually happened, the disney version anyway.

Fun times when walking home....No, it wasn't fun.

Let me say that I hate walking.
Also I did not feel like talking about it hence the 60 day- give or take absence of posts.
Yes, I am aware that my fairy tale might bore you or you got sick of waiting for the next embarrassing or degrading moment of my life that I would share with you for almost 8 weeks and after 4 days, you got sick of waiting and went back to watching reruns of Once upon a Time (as if) or Dancing with the Ogres...I mean stars.
But you weren't there.
Really there isn't much to talk about.
Except for this one conversation 3 days in.
Max, who has been strolling along as if nothing is wrong, stops suddenly- causing Grimm to run into his behind since Grimm has spent the last 3 days grumbling about having to drag the Dragon's head,
"Oww!" Max.
"Crimeny, can't you just get out of my frikkin way you arse!" Grimm.
"Watch where you're going Dwarf!" Max says spinning on Grimm.
"Make me HUMAN!" Growls Grimm.
"Are you going to write that down?" Max asks.
"What?" Me.
"I assume that you are writing all this down in that magic book you seem to carry everywhere." Max points at my magic book.
"No-ooo." Me, ever prolific.
Yes, you had to wonder how I managed to keep up with everything as it was happening. Go back and check, when I am indisposed I don't write- like when I was a frog, for instance....actually don't go back and look - it's just too humiliating.
"Give that back." I say because Max has snatched my magic book, Jane rushes over to read as well. They both act shocked. Yes, shocked and I know they are acting because-
"Can't read a thing, it's in some kind of weird code." Max says.
Jane sighs, takes the book from Max and hands it back to me.
"Wait." Max says, "I have been able to read it, earlier as you were writing it."
"It's only encrypted when I don't hold it." I say then realized that this wasn't the best course of action.
Immediately Jane and Max surround me on both sides and try to get me to reopen the magic book which I have clamped shut.
"Be a good sport." Jane says.
"Come on Charlie, I will do that thing that you like if you give me a peek." Max says.
"I'll comb your hair."
"I'll massage your feet."
"I'll let your wear the pink dress."
"I'll let you carry my sword."
"That's my sword."
"Technicalities."
"I will let you kiss me."
Max and I stare agape at Jane.
"I figured I would give it a try." Jane says.
"I- um, " I strategically nose my boot in the sand.
Fine, I admit it, I have thought about it. Jane is just so much a woman whereas I am not.
Besides I've caught Ralph singing a song about a girl kissing girls and he thought it was cool.
Yes, that's my entire defense.
"I can kiss way better than Jane." Max says and pecks me on the cheek.
I almost drop the magic book.
My toes curl in my boots.
I get hot and bothered at the same time- well my mother describes the giddy burning sensation like that.
Jane, not to be outdone, sweeps me into an embrace and plants one on me.
If I have to explain this to you readers, then I probably will have to explain rule 36...or was it rule 63...rule 34? Note to self: ask Ralph which rule it is.
No, I don't even know what rule 1 is when it comes to this stuff.
Max lunges for the two of us and we end up in a fray or a melee of tangled limbs in the dirt. I won't lie and say it wasn't fun.
It was, the wrestling, dodging flying kisses bit.
The mouthful of Jane's hair and the nose full of dust, not so much.
Yep, this is my romantic life, two attractive people vying for my attention and all I get is a mouthful of dirt hair.
"Are you 3 finished?" Grimm glares down at us, which isn't saying much as he barely tops 4 feet.
"Maybe." Max says.
"What I wouldn't give for a bag of holding." Grimm says before he arches his back and plops down on top of the dragon's head which proves to be a bad idea.
Dragons have horns and spikes, lots of them.
Grimm cusses.
"You mean like this bag of holding?" I hold mine up.
Yep, I am the queen of convenient plot devices.
It's my Fairy Tale and I will be that obvious if I want to.
Grimm stares at my bag, licks his lips then goes back to cussing.
and that was it.
The good news is it only took 30 days of walking to find the inn and my entourage (drunk as skunks).
The bad news is I was lying about having a bag of holding.
Grimm was not amused, but I was - for 3 minutes before he punched me.
Dwarves, so violent and short tempered.

Quit dragging my Dragon head around.

It turns out that it was Grimm who found the other Dragon.
Just on the other side of the moat (now filled with debris and Dragon bits), lay the younger Dragon.
It was quite dead. From the looks of things, it appeared that he had caught the flying gnome.
"looks like Cogspinner met his match." Max observes.
He's looking at Cogspinner's boot.
"Don't tell me the foot is still in there." Jane says.
"Yup." Max replies and nudges the boot into the moat.
Jane and I look sick.
"This what happens on Dragon slaying adventures, lassies" Grim says.
Really? This is exactly what happens on Dragon slaying expeditions
"Yep, people get eaten and castles explode and Dragons choke on inebriated gnomes." Max says with silly look on his face.
Grimm tightens the grip on his ax and snarls at Max.
"Grimm this is all your fault." I say.
Grimm shrugs and says: "I slew the dragon."
"That dragon...not this dragon." I respond, "Gimme your axe."

"Do you have to?" Jane says, looking anywhere but at the Dragon's head.

"My father wants a Dragon's head as proof and mama Dragon's head is in pieces thanks to Dragon Slayer Grimm."

"I'll be over there with Max." Jane says.
"But I want to watch." Max says.
"Max, please."
"Oh okay, fine, then." Max slumps off after Jane.
Grimm hands me his ax. I heft it. This will do nicely....I hope.
Grimm turns to go after them, I clear my throat. His head goes down as he slumps.
"What?"
"You're carrying/dragging it back home, Stumpy."
"Me?"
"Yup, you got me into this. Don't think that I don't know."
"But I-" Grimm starts then stops.
"The Witch War too."
Grimm opens his mouth but nothing comes out.
I walk over to the behemoth that is the Dragon.
I will spare you the details, because I still can't believe that I cut off that Dragon's head.
I also can't believe it took that long.

Later, well much later, I found a chain and spike and hammer.
I let Grimm do that part since he'd be dragging it.

I found the others and told them it was time to start walking.
We made it about a mile before I just threw up my hands and we made camp.
I told Grimm he could quit dragging my Dragon head around.

Fairy Tale Festival Season

Enjoying a short break from Dragon Slaying

"Don't you mean Dragon Exploding?"

I love you too Max.

"Don't you mean Princess Emily, your betrothed?"

I love Princess Jane as well.

"What about me?"

No one loves you Grimm, it's your fault we're dragging this Dragon head around.

"What did I do?"

50 Ways to Escape your Lover, a Dragon and a bunch of Damnable Gnomes and Goblins: Attempt 16...who am I kidding, exit stage left

So here is the scene. there is a lone tower....I mean a four story shaft of a former 7 story tower missing the top two floors which only moments before were launched into the air following a mysterious explosion that demolished the fifth story save for the stairwell, a three foot section of hallway and a stone door frame. Everything else around the three of us blew upward and outward in a savage blast radius shattering the surrounding castle, dragon and castle walls.
From where I crouch over Jane I see nothing but smoke and sky.
Jane sits up and looks around then turns to me and says.
"Why describe it as savage?"
"Uh."
"I totally agree." Max says still clutching the three foot section of wall next to the stairwell.
"Why not say brutal instead." Jane as carefully sitting up, we are now intimately close.
"Uh."
"Prolific as always I see." Max notes.
"Grr."
Yup, Prince Charlie the brave just growled. I so suck at this hero stuff.
Jane makes a purring noise and then drags me to floor to kiss me and for about six heartbeats I totally panic until I realize she is not actually kissing me and we both burst into hysterical laughter.
"You two are hilarious." Max grumbles.
We both look at him, he still has his deathgrip on the wall which slowly crumbles away behind him and then he is cartwheeling as he falls backward down to the floor screaming in panic.
"I hate both of you right now." He comments from his prone position on the rubble.

"There's nothing left."
"Where's the other dragon?"
We look around.
1 tower (if you can call it that), rubble-lots and lots of rubble, smoke, bits of cloth, and a fresh ocean breeze. All in all, the new view of the coastline and ocean is quite spectacular.
No dragon though.
This bothers me, a lot.
There is what the wizard calls the pregnant silence.
Why is or rather how can silence be pregnant? Women are seldom silent when pregnant, so I think the wizard is wacko.
Then our sky is filled with dragon as he comes over the lip of the cliff, wings wide, trailing smoke and flame.
"Grea-aaat" Max says from his prone position.
Jane looks, I look, Max looks.
We look.
Then the dragon screams in fury and spins away from us and we see a very crispy Cogspinner clinging to the back of the dragon.
He is screaming something but I cannot make it out.
We look at each other, Jane shrugs, none of us can tell what he is screaming.
Then the dragon takes flight down the coastline and vanishes from view.
"What was he screaming?" I say not expecting an answer.
"He was screaming Help me or Fuke you all!" Grimm says from where his head peeks over the rim of the stairwell. "Who knows? Gnomes are incredibly hard to understand."

"This is all your fault." Grimm says.

"My fault?"

"Yes. If you hadn't scared that fellow, I would be enjoying a stiff drink right now."

Fortunately my foot reaches Grimms head. So I kick him down the stairs,
Max crawls over to watch his descent.

"Oh look, Dwarves bounce." Max comments.

Grimm yells "Fuke you all!" All the way down the stairs.